Not to self aggrandize the life I lead, but it’s stupendously more awesome than the life I desire to live. Mostly because I live a non-profit life; it’s what I’ve been called to at this day and age. I’m 21, (almost 22), and as sad and pathetic as it may sound, I still haven’t discovered or been made aware of God’s “plan for my life”.
I’ve taken that to mean I am to bloom where I’ve been planted; which is fine, this life was never about me anyway. So, where I’m at, with no set future before me and a call from God to be a sustainable channel of imbuing His blessings to others: I am a non-profit individual. Is that a good thing? I dunno. To those I give the resources I’ve been blessed with, it’s a very good thing. For me…?
I don’t know what the future holds, I can’t support a family or start a life along those lines; not now, not the way I’m living by faith. But that’s not what God has called His followers to. Sure, it’s noble, scriptural, and desirable to get married, have kids, and train the next generation, but it’s not a calling given to everyone.

Woe is me….?

Now, all of that sounds pitiful and everything, but I don’t believe God wants anything less than His best for me. So, right now, where I am, regardless of what I may want, I’m seeking Him; loving Him; giving to His causes with my whole heart; emptying my pockets unto His service. Is it foolhardy? Yes. Is it risky? Absolutely it is. Could I lose everything? I could… But I’m trusting God with everything I have.

I’ve never loved money. Never had much to love, never hoarded it when I had it. It’s in my nature to give, which has been exploited by more than one panhandler. Most recently in a church parking-lot before a concert. But I’m living a non-profit life. So what if I don’t have the best clothes, (I shop at thrift stores)? Who cares if my phone isn’t the newest or the best? I may not have the best of this world, but I’m not living for that; I want the best of God, let the world say what they will. I’ve got that non-profit swagger and until God tells me otherwise, I’m going to give it all back to Him: my life, my soul, my all.

As always, thanks for reading.

the anonymous novelist

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