I went on a walk to clear my head but ran out of road.
I can’t outrun my future, every step just brings me nearer.
Am I running to or running from? I am the cop or the thief?
What is life?
I’ve stopped trying to figure it out. The harder I try the more I fail at discovering the truth about my life, much less life in general. Truth is, I’m more hands off than I’ve ever been with my life. Does that mean I don’t have plans? No! Of course I have plans. I know exactly what I want.
Then what’s the problem, chucky?
Well, let’s just say I’m not too good with letting go of things. I know what I want, I just don’t know how to get it. If I knew that, why would I need God? If I had all of the answers, I would’ve figured this whole life thing out long since. But in my 21, (almost 22) years on God’s green earth I’ve learned this: I don’t know everything. The longer I live, the more I find out just how true that is. As much as I’d like to solve all of the problems in your life and help you out of your difficult times, I can’t even fix my own issues; at least not by myself.
I went on a walk to clear my head today and ran out of road.
That’s been the running theme of the past… year or more. From experience, thinking about it might help you, but it won’t solve your issues. Only doing something about them can affect the kind of change you so desperately need to break out of this pattern. And only by getting back to the basics of you and God can that ever be accomplished.
I’m not a body builder; can’t build it if I tried. And believe me, I have tried. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll never be a super buff and muscular guy, (that’s not really the nerdy/geek/techie look anyway). But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stay fit and work my body into the best shape I can. I’ve been exercising lately, not to get fit so much as to break habits, not so much even to break habits as train myself to conquer apathy. Yet, by exercising I accomplish all three.
My advice is to break the pattern. Maybe do something you don’t particularly enjoy or do enjoy but have neglected: something that drives you and gets you energized.
To beat laziness and lethargy, I started exercising a few years ago and haven’t really stopped. When I do something, I get in the mindset of productivity and creativity. When you start something it’s difficult to stop. You started the new year with goals, stick to them or make new ones, but constantly push forward and never give into apathy or laziness. Life was meant to be lived!
Do I have complete control over my life? Not remotely. Will I try the best to utilize the opportunities God has given me? Absolutely. Do I have to throw out my dreams and plans? No. Some dreams are of God and He desires them to be realized in your life. I have a select few things I believe in, some theology, some knowledge, some people. I fight for what I believe in. Why else am I here? So maybe I have figured out a little bit in 21 years.
As always, thanks for reading.
–the anonymous novelist