You don’t really know me. I can’t really consider you friends because we don’t have that founded of a relationship yet. I’d love to get to know you; more than that, I’d love for you to get to know me. Since I am the one speaking most of the time, my words might mean a little bit more if you know where I’m coming from, if you know who I am.
So, rather than talk about some other things today, and rather than do what I normally do, (which generally entails rambling on about nothing), I’d like to share what’s going on in my life. Any of you who keep up with the blog regularly have noticed a significant decline in the frequency of my posting. This is largely due to a lack of commitment and dedication in my personal life. For quite some time I’ve wondered what God wants to eventually do with me. I’ve asked Him, I’ve prayed, fasted, and sought the advice and help of friends to try and figure this out, or to plead with me to God to show me what He would have me do. However, it doesn’t seem God is ready to tell me, or perhaps I’m not ready to hear it.
So, I call myself a Viator. Those of you who may know me better than others, you know that I value words above most anything else. I’m a nerd about vocabulary and using the right words to say the right thing to get a point across is something I strive for daily. With that in mind, I love Latin. Latin is the root of most modern languages, so many languages derive their words from original Latin words, roots, and many Latin words are in existence today and used widely. Audio, video, those are words that haven’t changed since Latin invented them thousands of years ago. Viator is essentially a wanderer, but more than a physical wanderer: a Viator is someone who is searching for something.
Over the last several months things have happened, since the middle of 2016 I have been writing my first ever fantasy novel. This is a whole new world in writing for me, especially considering the fact that I’ve never been able to make it through the first 40,000 words of anything. Now I’m tackling a task which could potentially reach as many as 100,000 words. I’ve also recently acquired a position writing for a publication called A Front Row View where I’ve put to use my skills of writing movie reviews and music reviews for various albums. I’m writing quite a lot, but the inspiration is gone from my life.
I’m an introvert and largely a passion driven person. It takes something, a specific catalyst to get me going. As long as I have the goal, the prize, more specifically the motivation to continue, I will. However, my motivation is often derived from sinful passions. Well-, more selfish less sinful, but my point still stands. Sometimes it’s not enough to do something specifically for the glory of God. I know that’s the ultimate motivation, the highest prize, and the greatest achievement we could ever reach; but sometimes a more tangible reward or motivation is needed, at least for me.
Coming off of a spiritual high after mission trip to Uganda, Africa with some of the dearest, most God-loving, caring, servants of humanity I have ever had the privilege of knowing, I collapsed into an extremely extroverted, manic driven writing mode. Everything I wrote was inspired, everything I felt was emphatic, the impressionism of my emotions bled through to my writing. After that, I declined to severe depression… at least as far as my mind activity was concerned.
Since then, things have slowly beaten a path towards the abnormal norm of life as Jared Allen. Life is the nothings we do in between the somethings we do.
As always, thanks for reading.
–the anonymous novelist

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