I’ve reached the state in writing where I’m writing more than I ever have, but accomplishing less than I ever have.
However, that’s completely relative.
Dumb question. Who doesn’t? Everyone wants some measure of success, whether in friendships, business, or even religious matters. No one wants to be a failure, and success is the opposite of failure. At least that’s what we’ve been told…
It’s interesting, very interesting how those three dots at the end of a sentence can make you think about something.
Is success the opposite of failure? Is there a middle point where you can be neither successful nor failure?
Physically, maybe not. But mentally: absolutely, nigh constantly actually. It seems those we deem successful never consider them self truly successful; they always want more success than they already have. So, to be successful is defined by always striving for the greater success. On the flipside, every person is moderately successful, when they look at someone who has true success deem themself a failure.
By comparison, nobody is successful. By comparison, you will never be better than what you are. Why? Because humans were never meant to compare themselves to other humans.
Humans are all the same.
Ironically we are all the same in that we are all uniquely different. Consider the absurdity of comparing yourself to someone you are just the same as. Then, consider the futility of comparing yourself to someone you are uniquely different from. Both attemps result in disparity. We cannot accomplish anything by either means of comparison; primarily because we aren’t supposed to compare ourselves to other humans.
Comparison is meant to be made between two unequivocal objects to discern the significance of their differences.
If we are equal, we have no need to compare. If we are uniquely different, we have no need to compare. Only if we are similar is there a real value in a comparison for a positive outcome. Humans compare price against price, they compare brand against brand, they compare label against label, entity it against entity, and I am against item. We compare quality, we compare economy, but when we compare people we are judging. You cannot compare one person to another without pointing out their flaws or their perfections. The differences between the two people in those areas is what we are judging. We weren’t meant to compare ourselves to others. So that’s why it hurts when we try to. I’m at the point mentally where I am neither successful nor a failure.
I said it at the beginning: I am writing more than I ever have, yet I am accomplishing less. I have two blogs running, both are supposedly daily blogs. The one you are reading now I upkeep every single day, except recently not Sundays. I also have a blog on a platform called Steemit that I may only post on every two or three days, but I post multiple times daily. I’m putting so much more effort into my writing than I ever have, however all of that has detracted from my writing of novels.
I am making money, actual money from blogging. I have more quality publish content than I ever have, yeah I’m not doing what a writer considers to be there most lucrative, and most prized achievement: writing and publishing books. That’s what I wanted to do, that’s why I started to write in the first place. Somehow though, other writing is taking priority over what I truly love doing. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write novels, it simply I haven’t had the time to devote to that; I’ve used the time I would devote to that for other writing.
That’s why I can say I’m writing more than I ever have and accomplishing less. My writing is being profitable, therefore successful, it’s getting good responses, therefore successful. However I have deviated from my original intention writing, by original inspiration to write, and therefore I am a failure in my own eyes. This is the gray area, the only status you can claim of being both successful and a failure in the same area. However, it doesn’t have to be like this. In fact, now that I’ve said it, it won’t be like this anymore.
As a writer, you have to learn to prioritize your time, a large portion of that prioritizing is choosing went to write and what to write. The most significant portion of that prioritizing for me is not straining my mind on the blog. Not to say I won’t attempt to give you quality content, but how I was writing these last several posts, devoting much time to teaching you my methods of writing, and configuring new ways to explain to you how to write easier or better, that’s all good for me and you, but it’s not easy. What I’m doing now is the simplest form of writing, and writing help I can give you. I’m sharing who I am, how I think, and how these concepts and situations relate to writing and as I figure them out so will you. I don’t want to let anybody down, more importantly I don’t want to let myself down, because if I do I will let everyone down.
So, it’s time to get back to where things started, it’s time to get back to why things are supposed to be. If the quality of content on this blog suffers, know that the same quality absent from here is been devoted to something else which she will eventually see, and by participating in this blog, reading it and encouraging me you can be a part of the next book I produce. I’m sure I’ll get into what it’s all about later on, but if you’ll stay with me, there is a reward at the end for us both.
As always, thanks for reading.
–the anonymous novelist.