Dad just left to fly out to Dallas and pick up the bus. Be looking for pictures and whatnot as I will post them as I get them. The guy who’s selling the bus is driving 16 hours from Virginia to Dallas to meet Dad there; he’s a really nice guy and has been a tremendous blessing through all of this. Not only is Dad leaving us, but Mom has left to spend time with Gabrielle and Robin in Colorado for a few days. Thus, again we are without parents. This is the third time in 3 months that they have both left; and once again, on Thursday, we will be doing a full concert without either of them.

But, the bus, and our 20th year of ministry, with the wreck and now the rebuilding, it’s been a strange year. It makes me think that God is moving our ministry into a different direction. I cannot be positive, but be watching for updates of exciting and new things happening to the Allen Family. It’s just a hunch, but I think God is rebuilding our ministry for something totally new, that’s why the bus was wrecked, that’s why the things that are happening to us are happening right now I think.

“Endless hours of free-time are best spent in the act of nothing.” 

I have failed thus far to spiritually capitalize on my current state of idleness. True, my life is constant travel and therefore work. But, contrary to what you might imagine, rather then become more productive when life slows down, I’ve become drastically less so. I thrive in work and tasks when put under great pressure and expectation, as well as harsh time restraint. My mind was built in such a way, that when given a task, it immediately responds by configuring the most concise and efficient way to complete that task.

Note: I’m not bragging on myself. If anything, this attribute has been a degradation more than a gift. At this current juncture in my life, I find myself with untold eons of time at my disposal; and rather than capitalize on this time, I waste it.

My mind doesn’t work without a pressure or a limit, rather, it finds pressure in idleness and responds in much the same way that a walnut responds to an anvil falling on it. The pressure of too much time obliterates my mind like an atom bomb, leaving nothing but a broken wasteland. In the wake of that, I rebuild, restructure, and learn to think again. 

This is what is happening to my family, we’ve been dealt a crushing blow that has decimated our lives and ministry. Now, it’s time to realize our situation, for what it is: a chance to reform and rebuild. Then, we need to act upon that, and not only rebuild our private lives and our home, but also our public lives and our ministry. It’s time we rethink where we stand and what our purpose is.

I’m not saying that any of this happened as a result of someone or something done wrong, but I’m not saying it didn’t. I’m not saying any of this is directly our fault, but I’m not saying it isn’t. If this was God’s way of giving us a wake-up call, then don’t let it take a disaster for God to get your attention. Start now by following Him with all of you heart. But, for me, right now, it’s time to rebuild.

I can’t do it alone. I need your help, and most importantly God’s help to grow in the way He needs me to grow. 

As always, thanks for reading.

the anonymous novelist

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