A Formal Apology

Hello there, I hope you don’t mind, but I’m just going to be real for a minute here. I don’t like the past few posts I have published. If I was feeling like my normal, prideful self today I might blame their quality, or lack of, on the recent events that have happened. However, I am not feeling like my normal, prideful self today. Conceited, yes, but not prideful. 

I seriously admit to the quality decline being the result of my own neglect. I just haven’t cared enough these past few days to devote real time and effort to a thought.

Even as much as I have been preaching on the meaning of Christmas and remembering why this season is important, I’ve been so concentrated on preaching that I lost sight of it myself.

You see, God has been stretching my faith recently. With the bus getting banged up a few days ago, and more recently getting stuck and having to be towed, this faith-stretching thing has hit hard. 

I tell you, when it rains it pours, and when it pours the ground gets wet; when the ground gets wet the bus gets stuck. But, it’s just been one thing after another. Seems like the devil is trying awful hard to keep us from something, or that God is trying awful hard to bring us to something.

I have come to realize that it is only by the grace of God that we are even alive. Everything on earth, in earth, through earth, and by earth belongs to him. Two songs come to mind when I think of all the events that occured in the past few days: “Great is Thy Faithfulness”, and “Who Am I”.

The lyrics to the song, who am I, just seem to fit. Displaying the minuscule importance of man, and the awesome grandeur of the Creator. The song says: who am I that a king would bleed and die for? Who am I that He would say, “not my will, but thine Lord”? The answer I may never know, why He ever loved me so, that to an old rugged cross He’d go: for who am I. 

Really, who are we to decide what is best for a life that God has given us for His purpose? I’ve been a hypocrite on so many levels. I suppose that this is my formal apology to you, my readers. I’m sorry. You know… It’s just been one of those lives.

I feel like I’m that one sock that gets lost when you do laundry, and no matter how hard you look for it, you cannot find it. I feel like a spin top that has run out of spin and just lays on the floor motionless. I want everything to stop, but I’m afraid when it does I’ll fall flat on my face and never be able to rise again. Vertigo is overrated, right? 

So, here’s my apology, not fancy or fine. I’ll do my best to give you a better, more intuitive, more invigorating, more innovate post next time. What’s a blog for if you can’t solve world economics, create nuclear fusion, and blow up the moon?

As always, thanks for reading.

the anonymous novelist

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